Hi Boltemort,
Good and bad news... our 2019 pre-recall-fix is having the same issue. It seems to have started since the software update that limited charging for safety.
Bad news, no one seems to know anything about it or if there is a fix or if it is a hardware or software failure.
Good news, I have a workaround that works, but is rather a PITA.
You are right that the issue isn't the latch itself, but the locking pin behind the latch. The pin should lock the latch in place during charging to prevent inadvertent disconnects, but for some reason it decides randomly every couple of days to lock when there is nothing plugged in, thus preventing the cable from being fully seated.
We've tried every possible easy solution under the sun to get it to unlock, but we've found only one PITA solution that works... pulling the 12v, waiting a minute or two, and reconnecting it. Fixes it every time, and is a complete and total pain... good reason to make sure you have a 10mm in your car at all times.
Good luck!
JWH